Forgive me if this seems to be a bit morbid, but remember when I told you about my inexperience with funerals? A coworker of my boyfriend recently passed away, tragically and too soon. Mike was really upset by this because his coworker was a good man with a family. If there is one thing that Mike respects, it's someone that is honest and considerate. When he told me about his passing I was sad for the man's family and sad for mike. He was a complete stranger to me.

Death is always sad. It reminds us that we are all human and there is some fragility to life. I can't quite understand how some cultures are able to celebrate the life that was lived and not focus on the life that was cut short. I want to be able to think that way. No matter how old the deceased is it always seems tragic that they didn't live longer. It just so final. I know I would want those left behind to celebrate my life. Of course there is a little part of me that would want them to mourn as well. Don’t look at me like that you know we all want to be missed, it's true. Maybe it's my unfamiliarity with death that makes me so naive about what happens at a funeral, celebration vs. mourning. I’m curious like a cat!

I wanted to go to the funeral. I want to know what it's like. You don't need an invitation, do you? Is it in poor taste for me to attend, when I never met the man? I thought I should go with mike, y’know for support and all. He was so surprised that I had never been to a funeral. Um, if you read my blog you would know this about me. I have not lost many loved ones. My Aunt Lottie's funeral was probably the one I should not have missed. Aunt Lottie was a hoot! I have always loved her name and her spirit! She was feisty and full of life. There were my grandfathers’ funerals but I was very young and uninvited!

As I got a bit older, I would fear not only losing a loved one but also having to go to the service. To be honest weddings freaked me out too but for various odd reasons not mortality! It almost became a superstition to me. Don't think about, talk about or go near death and everything would be just fine and nothing bad will happen.

I think that I am growing up, I'm going to go with Mike and it will be ok. I'm not afraid and it's not contagious especially if it's a stranger, right? So I planned to attend, I told mike I would go with him. I’ll pay my respects. Clothing wouldn't be an issue, I have plenty of black. I can cry if I want. But wait, is it in bad taste? No it's not. What if it jinxes me? What if this is just the beginning of these ends. What if my funeral is my first and last, that I attend? It's not and I'm going.

Well I didn't go. I'm pretty sure he didn't want me to go. Maybe I was just a little too interested. I should have played it cool. But I blew it. No, I didn't beg or anything like that. I just said I was going to go. He said it would be sad. Ah duh. He said I didn't have enough time to get ready. "You have to dress up for these things." Really, didn't know that! I just haven't been to a funeral, I'm not a hermit.

Well maybe he saved me. I'm still a funeral virgin and hopefully I will stay this way for many years to come!

The end.